I see you looking. Staring across the mall. Will you come over? Will you say hello to me?
People often stare at me. I am very beautiful in my way. Nothing can ever take that away from me. I was considered amazing once and was a model. Okay it was local but hey. I had my 15 minutes. Now I am here. Every day the same.
I see you looking. Oh, you pretend you are not. Embarrassed? You do not need to be. It is I who is embarrassed. It is I who have fallen. My clothes unfashionable were all the rage once. My hair…oh well, I do try and comb it but well, fingers just do not do it really.
The bruise? That is my business not yours.
I see you looking. Do you know I hate you? and I love you? I hate you because you do not come to me. I love you because it s not your fault I am here. I hate you because you will go home to your wife and kids, your dinner and your TV and I? Where I go is also none of your business. We keep it secret.
Did you know I had a job once? A husband? I drove a car and had a dog and a garden with roses. Do you even care? When you stop looking you will turn away and forget me as you never have known me.
You may remember the image of me. Only.
I was a model once. People looked at me and clapped and toasted me. Now they shoo me.
I see you looking. Through your lens. Taking a shot that you can show people so they feel pity for me and admiration for you.
I see you looking.
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7 Comments
Maggie Terlecki
Gosh, yes, street photography. Wow. Your writing is so sensitive and powerful. There seems so much truth and sadness in this. I’m attracted to this sadness I think, because I seem to be that type of person. Where the pain seems to get me faster tan the joy. It’s a bit hard to read, only because it hurts to read; not because it isn’t well written, as it is. I’m very impressed. Maggie
Abbie
Thank you so much, Maggie! I’m sorry to make you sad
Abbie
This is a story part based on truth. I was homeless for a year when young. Someone took a photo of me.. in the story I turned it into an older person, but some of the facts are true, including my feelings about it
Angela Whitehouse
Very well written abbie, and the way you write just draws you in to wanting to know more.
Each sentence is captivating, intriguing and a good read.
I remember reading one of your articles in the blogs on faa , I would of bought the book it was so fascinating.
Brilliant reads
Angela
Abbie
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate the comment XXX❤️
Sandi O'Reilly
As I read, many thoughts came to mind. How would it feel to experience that loneliness, rejection and total loss of a life that once was. To sit and be gawked at. You bring compassion up to be aware of others that are hurting when reading this story. This is so well written, Abbie. I admire your fortitude and talent to express the written words of a time that was very hard.
Abbie
Thank you, Sandi. This story is close to my heart admittedly. If I can make just one person feel something for those still out there, my job is done