I see you looking, staring across the mall. Will you come over? Will you say hello to me?

People often stare at me. I am beautiful, in my own way, and nothing can ever take that away from me. Once, I was admired. I was a model—alright, only locally, but still, I had my fifteen minutes. Now, I am here. Every day is the same.

I see you looking, though you pretend not to. Are you embarrassed? You don’t need to be. It is I who feels the embarrassment. It is I who has fallen. My clothes, unfashionable now, were all the rage once. My hair… well, I try to comb it, but fingers only do so much.

The bruise? That’s my business, not yours.

I see you looking. Did you know I both hate and love you? I hate you because you don’t come over to me. I love you because it’s not your fault I’m here. I hate you because you will go home to your wife, your kids, your dinner, and your television. And me? Where I go isn’t any of your concern. That’s something we’ll keep a secret.

Did you know I had a job once? A husband? I drove a car. I had a dog, a garden, roses. But do you care? When you finally stop looking, you’ll turn away and forget me as though you’d never seen me. You’ll remember only an image of me.

I was a model once. People used to look at me with admiration. They would clap, toast to me. Now, they shoo me away.

I see you looking, through your lens this time, taking a shot so you can show others. You want them to feel pity for me, admiration for you.

I see you looking.

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Maggie Terlecki

Gosh, yes, street photography. Wow. Your writing is so sensitive and powerful. There seems so much truth and sadness in this. I’m attracted to this sadness I think, because I seem to be that type of person. Where the pain seems to get me faster tan the joy. It’s a bit hard to read, only because it hurts to read; not because it isn’t well written, as it is. I’m very impressed. Maggie

Angela Whitehouse

Very well written abbie, and the way you write just draws you in to wanting to know more.
Each sentence is captivating, intriguing and a good read.

I remember reading one of your articles in the blogs on faa , I would of bought the book it was so fascinating.

Brilliant reads
Angela

Sandi O'Reilly

As I read, many thoughts came to mind. How would it feel to experience that loneliness, rejection and total loss of a life that once was. To sit and be gawked at. You bring compassion up to be aware of others that are hurting when reading this story. This is so well written, Abbie. I admire your fortitude and talent to express the written words of a time that was very hard.

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